It's Been a Minute

It's Been a Minute

The last couple of years have been a little . . .well . . . let's say nutty. I'll spare you the details and start with now. I've decided to start updating the blog because I think it might be helpful for other people with adopted kids or maybe even just other people with teens. 

I do not have all the answers. I'm fairly certain that often I don't have ANY answers. What I have noticed though, is that knowing we're not alone and that what we're going through, if not "normal" is at least not "uncommon," is very helpful. So here I am, warts and all. It won't be pretty but it will be true.

That said, there may be times that for moral or legal reasons, I can't tell the whole story. You'll just have to trust that details left out are out because they are (1) protecting kids or (2) they can't be disclosed at this time. 

The "Littles" will all have birthdays in the next two months and will be 16, 15, and 14.  I can't believe it. A couple days ago we celebrated 13 years of Tischler life together. Wow. I think about the tiny strangers that came to our house that blustery February day and honestly can't imagine (and barely remember) life without them.  

I thought I'd be overwhelmed with child management but that was not it. I was overwhelmed with laundry and still am! I worried I would lose them but they stuck to me like glue. The real challenge was nights. I don't think I slept the first 2 months they were here; The Captain was so traumatized that it took him literally hours to fall asleep and the Blitz also had serious sleeping issues. Oh, I long for those easy days of toddler life! 

These  days, we have teen problems. Do you remember being a teen?  I do, and it's been a minute!  It was AWFUL! I felt ugly and unloved, pretty much all the time. And guess what? That's what it's like being a teen. Not much has changed. Except, now they have 1000 times more images a day to compare themselves to and strangers on the internet to help them feel bad about themselves. 

These three are all very cute and talented. I hope one day they will truly know it. They aren't at a place to take my word for it, of course. The Captain made the JV Baseball team, a pretty big deal. Tink is in the community youth choir and The Blitz is on his middle  school Theater UIL team and his MS Cheer Squad as the Mascot. 

It's not all roses though. There have been very serious, thorny problems too. School problems. Legal problems. Family problems. Moral problems. And it has not been at all smooth sailing. 

That's why I think I need to restart the blog: to remind you and me that we can all get through it. In short . . . to say that even though there are the problems --- all those lumpy problems -- at the end of the day, inside these thorny, horny (yes, I said it), awkward teens, there are also those sweet little kids just trying to be loved. 

So, here I am, back again. Let's wander up this rocky road together. Cheers. 

The Light Came On!

Peace and joy has returned to the household.  The lightbulb came on and now we all feel calmer and more regulated.

The discontent centered around nap-time and morning time.  Okay, I'll admit it, the malcontent was me.  The Captain (4-1/2) and Tinker (3-1/2) have all but given up their nap.  The Blitz (2-1/2) needs a nap still 4 out of 5 days.  They were more than willing to go into their room and lay on their beds and hoot and holler.  The difficulty was that they came out of their room every 10 minutes to ask if it was time to wake up.  I know they won't nap forever but I have 5 kids -- that hour and a half every day is when I read email, read books, peruse blogs -- it's joy time!

The other thing that wasn't working was that The Blitz had begun waking earlier and earlier.  Some days he'd wander out at 6:00 - not so bad - but then the next day it would be 5:30.  One day as I was getting ready for the gym at 4:30 a.m. he wandered out.  Suffice it to say, I was less than graceful at this appearance.  And need I remind you, a kid short on 3 hours of sleep is a not-so-joyful companion!

I considered buying them a projecting clock and teaching them to read it, but that seemed pretty complicated given that they don't recognize the form of any numbers yet.  Plus, let us not forget, they are the destructo-kids.  I'd have to mount it to the ceiling to keep it safe!

Suddenly I remembered these cute lights they sell at IKEA.  $10 each.  I ordered a digital timer from Amazon and drove straight to IKEA. 

The Captain could not wait for me to install the lights in his room, though he had no clue of my plan.  He went in there and cleaned up his whole room because I'd casually mentioned I was going to clean their room then hang the lights. 

We explained to the kids that during nap-time and in the morning, they had to lay in their beds until the lights came on.  They could play quietly with whatever was in their beds or use the bathroom or speak quietly with each other, but they were not to get up or leave their room until the light came on. 

The first nap-time, The Blitz came out 10 minutes after I put him in there.  I walked him back, pointed to the light and reiterated the guidelines.  He got back into bed, wailed, and went to sleep. That's the last time anyone came out without the light.  Seriously.  It is like a miracle.

It calmed the chaos quite a bit and now sometimes all three of them nap.  Most days both boys nap.  Only Tinker stays awake.  The light has been a regulating force for them; they now know that nap-time will end and it's relaxing to them.  The Blitz and Tinker have both begun sleeping later in the mornings too -- they know it's not time to get up so they sleep.  One day the Blitz slept almost to the end of the hour the lights are on! 

It's so cute because when they come out of their room, they always come out saying, "The light came on!  The light came on!"  If you are having stress around these two events, it might be worth a try for your family.  Wish I'd thought of it when the Bigs were Littles!  Happy mornings!

[The lights are really not bright.  Dear Hubby told me how to take the picture correctly but I was too lazy!]

The Land of the Living (Barely)

Almost everyone is sick.  Really sick.  The Blitz is the worst, with a temp fluctuating between 103 and 105; Pepper is a couple degrees behind (but upchucking) followed by The Captain who started the day fever-free and ended it at 101.  Sunshine is sick but not feverish last I checked;  all (even Tink) are coughing that kind of yucky cough that sets off the "cower and cover" reflex if they are too close.  Oh my.

Nonetheless, they are all being really sweet kids and as long as I aspire to accomplish nothing, all is well. 

I am feeling strong and fit - no worries. The baby spent the whole day flopping between my arms and the cool floor; everyone else is lounging here and there.  I think all 5 are finally asleep for the night now -- I'm hoping they all feel better tomorrow.  I can't stand it when even one is sick, much less 4 of 5. 

Two funny events of the day:
Tinker marches into the kitchen, arms crossed across her chest."Mama, The Blitz is trying to make me sick!  He cough all over me." 

And The Captain, arriving home from school says, "Mom.  Take my picture."
"Sure, son, but why?"
"Cuz dis how I look sick!"

I Have to Sit Down, Bladder Brain and Other Mommy Maladies

I am tired.  There, I said it.  This week has taken it out of me.  It seems that half a day at Sunshine's audition on Saturday, a full day and evening of cooking/serving for the youth group on Sunday and then today's "regular" day of cleaning the house for hours -- and it is messier than when I started -- and I am whipped!  I have decided it's a "Mommy Malady" called "I Need to Sit Down" and, after a week like this, I've earned a few hours on my bum!

I also have a serious case of "bladder brain."  I am already potty trained but The Blitz isn't, and every 30 to 45 minutes an alarm goes off in my brain and I cannot rest until that boy takes a brief sit on the potty seat.  He is making good progress; but still doesn't take the initiative.  He holds on until I tell him it's time. I dozed off this afternoon while sitting in the rocker and woke up with a jolt when the bladder brain alarm rang.  It's kinda funny, hunny. 

My last malady is a strange foot disorder I am calling "Freaky Feet."  I am getting rolling muscle spasms in my feet.  It is driving me crazy.  It starts late afternoon (or earlier) and does not stop until I sleep.  I suspect it has to do with being on my feet all day, but I'm not sure.  I went to the internet doctor and have determined that I can't possibly be short on calcium or magnesium; I get so much of both.  It may be a B vitamin deficiency (B1, B5 and B6 to be exact) though that would also be surprising, given how much poultry, eggs and leafy greens I consume.  It could be a case of dehydration, although that seems unlikely too.  For now, I'm "treating" it with vitamins and a lot of water.  Oddly,I don't have "Freaky Feet" tonight for the first time in weeks.  And I did get 10 hours of sleep last night.  Well, maybe 8-1/2.  So maybe the actual cause is that other Mommy Malady, "Sleep Deprivation."

Okay, enough whining.  I've got laundry to fold!

Travelogue - "Out"

I can't believe we've already been home from vacation 6 days!  I just caught up on the laundry!  And it was soooo worth that mountain of wash.

We left home on Saturday morning bright and early;  I was so proud of all of us for getting on the road a few minutes before 8:00.  We headed out in a decorated car -- thanks, Bigs -- spending the morning on Hwy. 183.  We had plans for lunch in Friendship Park at Hords Creek Lake near Coleman, but it turns out the picnic areas are not trailer accessible.  Ooops.  We headed on toward Winters and had a fun lunch at Elk Creek Reservoir picnic pavilion.  It was fully shaded and paved;  made for a good game of bouncing ball.  There was also a playground close by so the kids got their road legs worked out.

We made it to Lubbock around 4:30 and stayed in the Lubbock RV Park off the interstate..  They had fantastic prices and warm friendly service.  It was "dirty" more than grassy so we may not choose to stay there in summer again.  The pool was clean and refeshing;  just what we needed for our last 100 degree day for a while.

Sunday was our "big" driving day and we took off for Pueblo, Colorado.  We decided to have a play stop to break up the long day.  There is a fantastic playground in Conner Park in Canyon City. Dad and Sunshine played ball in the shade while Pepper and I sat on a "porch swing and watched the Littles play.

Onward, we drove through the Rita Blanca National Grasslands (yawn) and stopped for a crazy hot picnic at Thompson Grove in the protected lands.  It's probably good to see the natural prairie but oh my gosh it was so uninteresting.  And did I mention hot?  Hot, hot, hot;  shade was of little help.  I am definitely not tough enough to be a pioneer and we will not make this stop again.  Bet it's cold, cold, cold in winter, too!

We passed through New Mexico and into Colorado in short order after Thompson Grove.  I was thrilled as always to cross the pass into Trinidad; a picturesque little town that says "Colorado" to me.  Woo Hoo!  The drive through New Mexico and up to Pueblo was peaceful as 4 out of 5 blissfully napped.

It was a 560 mile day.  Quite a lot with 5 kids!  We spent the night at Lake Pueblo State Park.  It was pristine, beautiful and quiet.  The "B" loop in Arkansas camp ground is the best with great lake views.

We had planned a short, straightforward drive to Loveland on Monday, where we'd meet up with the folks for some shopping before the final 30 minute drive.  However, we'd had a bad surprise the night before;  Paul noticed the driver's window had mysteriously disappeared into the door.  He was able to get the door panel off and after consulting with my amazing nephew, T J Schmidt, we determined a new window motor assembly was needed.  So on Monday, we detoured through Denver to pick up the part at a local dealer and got a great deal thanks to TJ's negotiating.

In Loveland, we met the folks at Sam's Club and Dad and dear Hubby took off to have lunch with the kids at Namaqua Park.  It was a pretty park, underutilized, with lots of space and shade.  The shopping took longer than we thought it would but we landed at Rocky Mountain State Park by late afternoon. It was good to smell the mountain air and though the locals were complaining about the 80 degree weather, it was bliss to us.

Those are the adventures on the way out.  More on the family reunion and the beautiful scenery next time!

Kettle Corn

Several years ago, we were at a fair and a guy was making kettle corn.  It is really quite a sight.  They heat up a huge copper kettle and pour the corn into it.  As it pops and flies around, they use an oar to keep it stirring and to stir in the sugar which melts and sticks to the corn.  It's simple and exquisite at the same time.

So I decided I could surely make it at home.  With some experimentation and a few minor burns, I worked it out.  I have no idea how many batches of kettle corn I have made since, but I will say we have used about 75 pounds of popcorn since I figured it out!

Equipment:  I use this popper kettle; it's new but fashioned the old way.  It cuts down on burns but makes the stirring easy.  They retail for $20-30, but are often deeply discounted right after Christmas.  Warning:  They really aren't made for kettle corn, so plan on replacing them every few years.  It's kind of hard on them.
You will have to experiment a bit with your stove to find the perfect heat level; you need enough heat to let the steam build up in the kernels without burning.

You will need a large bowl handy;  the big pyrex bowl is the perfect size.


Ingredients:  

• 1 Tablespoon cooking oil (not "popcorn" oil -yuck)
• 1/2 cup popcorn kernels
• 1/4 cup sugar
• a couple of pinches of salt

Directions:

• Pour the oil in the popper and turn the stove up to medium high.
• Add the popcorn and casually turn the crank to keep them moving
• When the corn begins to pop. quickly open the lid, dump in about 1/3 of the sugar, and crank like mad. 
• You have about wait until the good popping resumes and add half of the sugar this time.
• Give it a couple of stirs and quickly add the rest.
• Stir like mad
• When the popping slows quite a bit, turn off the heat and dump it quickly in the bowl.  Whatever is stuck the bottom will likely burn so hurry.

Things I've learned:

• Don't leave that lid open too long and don't do this barefoot!  
• You will get some on the floor;  dogs love it.
• You might be able to make two batches; after that it will burn right away.
• Have a wooden spoon handy to help get it out when it's done.
• Don't try to multitask; this job is like a crazy show;  you will be super busy and then it will all be done.
• It'svery hot when it comes out.  It's melted sugar.  Let it cool off first!  In about 5 - 7 minutes, it will be cool enough for even little ones.
• No butter is needed and if you add it to the kettle it burns, if you add it afterward it makes the corn soggy.
• Don't add the sugar too early or you will have a nasty burned mess that looks like caramel but tastes acrid and horrible.

 Have fun -- and let me know if you are brave enough to try it!

PS-- was going to put a picture but got a new foster friend, so busy busy.  It's nice looking popcorn.  Enough said.

The Do-Over

The hardest part of parenting for me is remembering that it is not a straight line.  We cannot just pick a course and stay on it; human nature does not work that way.  Instead, we make our best choices and then do our best to stick with them.  When we notice things are falling apart, it's time to regroup.

I explained this to the "bigs" yesterday.  We don't always do things the way we want to.  Sometimes I'm not the best parenting leader.  I realized I had been yelling orders above the din rather than taking the time to meet each child's eyes and calmly tell them what I wanted them to do.  I needed a "do-over." 

I learned this concept from my friend Sharon some 20 years ago.  When her son Marcus, then a toddler, made a poor choice, she offered him a "do-over."  The do-over works like magic.

For example, yesterday Tinker was responding to me in a sassy voice and I said, "Let's have a do-over." 


I repeated my request; she used a disrespectful voice again.  I offered another do-over.  She got the hang of it this time.  She answered calmly, then  spontaneously hugged me and ran off joyously to play.   I don't always remember to offer the do-over and it isn't always appropriate or feasible, but it is a fantastic teaching tool.

I love the amnesty it offers.  I think unconditional forgiveness teaches a lot more than a time out.  I know I need forgiveness from time to time myself.  Thanks, Sharon, for the lesson!

New Experiences

I posted a funny story about The Captain here.   Again, because of copyright, I can't tell the story here!  But it's just a quick jump!