Showing posts with label foster child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foster child. Show all posts

Friday, February 10, 2012

Rainy Day Walk

Day 2 of the 10 Day Family Re-Charge:  Get Outdoors

When Pepper was a baby, I read a baby book from the 1950s.  It had, obviously, what we would call an "old fashioned" approach to child rearing but there was some sage advice in that tome.  The author said that no matter the weather, every baby needed a daily "airing" of one hour.  In truth, this was likely due to the fact that homes were heated with coal and that fresh air every day was crucial.

Nonetheless, it seemed like good advice to me.  So all my children get outside every day regardless of the weather.  Since we live in Texas, that means the winters aren't too bad, but the summer is brutal.  We often get our "outside time" at the local pool in summer.

Now for the confession.  When the Bigs were Littles, I was usually outside with them -- pulling weeds, playing, reading a book, just soaking up the sun.  I am not so good about that now; it's so easy to justify putting the Littles in the back yard where I can still see them and using that time to catch up on housework.  It wasn't that way when they first came; but has slowly evolved over the last year or so.  It's a combination of weariness and a false belief that the house really "should" be cleaner.

Yesterday for the Family Re-charge, we were to go outside.  Really the idea was for the whole family but due to a lot of "big girl" obligations with church, it wasn't going to work.  So while the rest of the family was away in the morning, I bundled the Littles and our foster child up and we went for a walk in the cold, cold rain.

I love the rainy day walks, usually more so in the summer, but the cold felt so cleansing after a week of everyone being sick.  The kids had fun playing with the raindrops on the plants and picking up this and that along the way.  They discovered some earth worms and wondered where the tree frogs  -- so prevalent in summer -- were hiding.  This precipitated an interesting conversation about the difference between winter and summer creatures.  We saw a fountain in someone's yard and learned the difference between waterfalls and fountains.  They picked up a ton of acorns which I let them throw in the street.  It is so fun to throw things!



The four of them looked so adorable toddling around in their winter coats and little hats.  [Well one of them wore shorts against my advice but when we got home I noticed he found his pants pretty fast!]  We had the wide, wet, wonderful world to ourselves, too, as everyone else had taken cover on this blustery day.

We tend to vacation and spend our weekends out of doors, we just need to let a bit more of the outdoors into our weeks.  Having now recalled the healing power of being outdoors together, I am going to reintegrate it into our days, and we will include the Bigs.  A walk to the park or the mailbox;  a stroller walk with the three oldest on bikes, a walk with Dear Hubby and all on the weekends, it fits nicely into the rythym of our life.   

I felt rejuvenated all day.  And once again, I am grateful.  Ahhhh.




Wednesday, March 2, 2011

You Can't Hurry Love

A few days ago during nap time my phone rang and Sunshine, reading the caller ID, yelled, "It's The Captain's school."

"Hmmm," I thought, "time for the ARD review already?"

Not quite.  The Captain, it seems, had been falling apart at school.  Can you say, "Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, BING!?"

This child could be a cover model for a story entitled,  "What to Expect of Your (Former) Foster Child."   Poor boy.  I'm sure that his teachers, who at least on one occasion have read my blog, have wondered why we call him "The Captain."  Because up until now, at school he has been an angel.

Here in the trenches, we know he is a perfectly normal boy and a fairly bossy one, at that.  At school, though, he has been wearing that halo.  Then, like clockwork, he began to test their true love for him.  We will never be sure what has caused this sudden rash of testing -- it could be the natural progression of relationships in the life of a fairly broken little boy.  However, we strongly suspect that it is closely related to the now very obvious pregnancy of one of his teachers.  He's been through 3 pregnancies with his birth-mommy;  it's a lot for a little guy to take on.

I've had the opportunity to discuss this with his teachers on a daily basis now for several days.  Yes, I said every day.  God bless his fabulous teachers.  They love him and have great compassion for him which is certainly helpful when a defiant 3-year-old is systematically tossing your library into the middle of the room.   On Monday, though, I felt perplexed.  I thought we'd had a couple of real breakthroughs over the weekend.  I'd taken care that he was as well rested and well fed as he could possibly be.  And yet, another break down.

As I hung up with his teacher, and started making lunch, I pondered possible interventions.  Suddenly, I found myself humming a Motown oldie, "You Can't Hurry Love."

"I need love, love
To ease my mind.
I need to find, find
Someone to call mine . . .
But how many heartaches
Must I stand
Before I find someone
To call mine?  . . .

No, love, love,
don't come easy
But I keep on waiting
Anticipating
For that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
To hold me tight . . .

You can't hurry love.
No, you just have to wait.
She said, love don't come easy,
It's a game of give and take."

Thank you, Diana Ross and the Supremes.  This could be the theme song of his life.  Thank you, Holy Spirit,  for reminding me once more, that although this precious little spitfire has been in our home for a whole year already, he's spent two-thirds of his life being moved from one caregiver to another and having his little heart broken over and over.  He's still un-moored.  So it's not terribly surprising that he's coming a bit unhinged.  You can't hurry love.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I just took four kids, three and under, to the grocery store.  Yep -- we have an extra friend here for a few days.  She's going to be three next month so she fits right in with Tink and The Captain.  She is pretty sweet and really cute and just jumped in with both feet.  I tried to get her to call me "Tia" as our last toddler friend did but being a white girl, she's unfamiliar with the term and took up calling me Mee-maw.  Heartwarming.

Tink decided to take advantage of the name-calling to try out "Dreena" and "Mee-maw" herself, but I kept looking around like I didn't know who she was talking to.  Finally she said "Maaaaa maaaa" in her sassy voice and kicked me in the shin.  I ignored the kick since I was egging her on so much.

But back to the grocery store.  Sunshine and Pepper are on a Little-free "vacation" in Houston with their friend, so I loaded everyone up and took them to the store.  I managed to find a cart that would hold them all plus the goods, so we just trucked up and down the aisles.   They were good as gold -- no crying, no reaching, no whining.  They were friendly and polite.  The super-sweet produce man brought them each a little box of raisins and that kept them busy for several aisles.

What was shocking to me was how many dirty looks I got.  This I did not understand.   You know, I didn't give birth to any of these kids.  But so what if I did?  Do we have the right to judge people who have more than a certain number of children?  They were all neatly dressed, hair combed; hopefully it is clear they are cared for.  I made an extra effort since I thought we might garner some attention.  They were actually being really darling.

It's good for me to be subject to occasional irrational judgment from strangers.  It keeps me from worrying too much about whether people like me.  The four little people with me like me a lot so I will leave it at that.

Of course I can't post any pictures of our little friend.  I suppose we are going to need a nick-name for her too, so let's go with Peisinoe (one of the Sirens),  because she lures you in and then the minute you say "no" or cross her, she wails.  And it is loud.  But she has waist length hair, big brown eyes and is so blonde, you can't see her eyebrows, so she can get away with it!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

National Adoption Day aka TISCHLER Adoption Day!

We had an amazing day yesterday, when "The Littles" officially joined our clan.  For today only I'm using everyone's real names in the post, just so you don't have to work your brain so hard!  Just a minute ago, I was reading the headlines to Paul:  "28 Former Foster Children Welcomed into 11 Families in McClennan County,"  and Gabriel said, "Me, Mama?  That was me?"  It was the sweetest moment ever!

We had to drive to Waco (85 miles or so) to McClennan County for the National Adoption Day.  The good folks at McClennan County did a great job of making it fun for the kids -- which is great because really only Gabriel had a clue about any of it.  They had a fun party room with a balloon-animal guy, life size Toy Story characters (Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Raggedy Andy and a Toy Soldier), balloons, chicken, pizza and cake!  Oh and chocolate milk.  And grapes.  Every kids' dream and every mom's choking-hazard nightmare!  But they loved it.

The day was extra sweet for Paul and I because ALL the grandparents were there.  Paul's Mom, Gerry Tischler and my folks -- Les and Donna Huntley --- traveled up with us and Paul's dad and step-mom, Fred and Pam Tischler drove down to meet us.

Our CPS caseworker, CPS adoption worker, Gabriel's original caseworker, our Marywood worker, and our CASA volunteer and superviser were all there to enjoy the fruits of their labor.  There are lots of "hard" days in the world of CPS so it was truly wonderful to see them have a good day!   They have all worked so hard on behalf of these kids!

Enough talk -- on with the photos!

Benjamin, Gabriel, Marguerite

Gerry Tischler, Allison holding Bennie, Donna and Les Huntley, Dreena holding Maggie Rose, Paul holding Gabriel, Chanelle

The welcoming committee

All of us with the judge


"The Littles with Kara -- their worker

Fred and Pam Tischler (waiting our turn!)

The Judge!



Pam and Maggie Rose

The big girls, Alli and Chanelle

Ms. Diane - CASA volunteer for the kids

Thursday, September 30, 2010

We Need Another Shoe Rack

The title says it all.  When we suddenly almost doubled the population of our home, some systems failed!  We have a serious plethora of shoes, but no extras.  Storage of every kind is an ongoing issue.

Things are really hoppin' around here what with the kidlets, the laundry, the dishes and the organization issues.  The days fly by so fast, I'm afraid I'll someday forget how wild and wonderful it all is.  Sometimes I have a really great idea or recipe, so this is where I'll store it.  Hopefully it will one day be of use to someone.   This blog is really just another extravagance -- me treating me to a big ole bag of love -- and lessons learned.

I have no real belief that I will draw any big readership ,but I wish I'd known about blogging when the girls were little because all that stuff I just knew I'd remember forever, I've already forgotten.  So here it is - a little peek into the life of a couple of nuts that suddenly decided to parent 3 tiny little cuties in addition to the remarkable two they already had.    For future reference, here's the current census of the household.  Everyone has been nicknamed so they won't have to kill me later:
 
Dear Hubby, aka DH - he's 48 on the outside -- young on the inside
Pepper -- Girl, Just started high school and just turned 14
Sunshine - Girl, 12 years old -- home-schooled 7th grader
The Captain - Boy, 3 years young
Tinkerbell , aka Tink, aka Tinker-- Girl, obviously, 2
The Blitz - Boy, 17 mos.

and the furry friends:
Bubby, aka Tyler Bing, chi-terrier mix of unknown age, thought to be 8
Daisy, lab-shepherd mix, 12, a good, good girl
Kiki la Vaca, 13 year old kitty with Hereford cow markings

Oh, and me;  51, certifiable.