Bad, Bad Baby Part Deux

Maybe this post should be titled, "Stupid, Stupid Mommy."

So after a minor medical procedure I slept all day.  Then I was awake most of the night so I did what all night owls do, I sewed.  Did I mention I have a brand new sewing machine?  She's a beauty.   I have a pretty big pile of costumes to conquer and I was really into it so next thing I knew, it was 4:30 a.m. 

Since The Littles are unsympathetic to my lack of sleep, I quickly tidied up and went to bed.  But I neglected two things;  first, I did not put the cover on the machine.  I always, always cover it so that it's beauty doesn't entice little fingers.  Secondly, I left a black sharpie out.  All I can say by way of excuse is that I was still not quite in my right mind.  I have never, never left a sharpie out and have delivered plenty of lectures on same.

I thought I never let him out of my sight this morning.  But it probably only took 30 seconds:

He was thoughtful about it -- he carefully hit all the buttons most of the places that were already written on.

You gotta admire his fine motor control hitting those buttons.

I did manage to clean off the stitch selection window with a glasses cleaner. 

Hey Mom, I know I let Jason draw on your quilt with markers when he was 2-1/2, but can you please call off the curse?  I thought we were even when Sunshine wrote "Sisssssy" on my bedroom carpet in foot high letters!

Bad, Bad Baby

No, we don't really call him "bad."  But we do have a funny riff off a rock song that we sing to the other "bigs" from time to time.  I'll spare you the audio experience but the lyrics are, "Bad, bad, baby; naughty, naughty, baby.  Bad, bad baby; drive me crazy; it's good I love you, baby!"

This was one such occasion:

 It's not as bad as it looks.  It is thankfully only sidewalk chalk.  I was seeing out their godmother and took my eye off the culprit for one second.  His artwork included both sofas, the floor and the hobby horse!

Here is the offender cleaning up the mess.

Bad, bad baby.  Lucky for you, Daddy was at work!

"PC" Talk - Food for Thought

Yesterday I told The Blitz, "Be a better baby!  Be a better baby!"  I said it because I like the rhythm of alliteration.  Normally I say, "Make a wise choice!" or, "Be a good friend," or "Share with your sister, please."  This clear departure from the usual patter caught Pepper's attention.

She called me on it.  "Why did you say that mom?  Why didn't you just say, 'Be good!'"?

"I don't want to label him as good or bad.   I am asking for what I want.  I am being specific.  I am trying to raise a kid who thinks and not just one who tries to stay out of trouble.  We can't be 'good' but we can be 'better."   Sometimes we can make a 'wiser' choice but we can't always make a 'good' one.  I am trying to make it do-able."

She pondered this a minute.  "Well, I remember being little and you saying "Make a wise choice" and me thinking, 'She wants me to be good.'"

Hmmm. Perhaps there is such a thing as too "enlightened parenting."  I'm not sure.  I have to ponder it a bit.

Both Pepper and Sunshine are "good kids."  We say it all the time -- though not to them.

To them, we say, "You are thoughtful.  We trust you to make wise decisions.  Your schoolwork reflects your hard work.  You're responsible.  You're a hard worker.  You are beautiful inside and out -- and the insides are what count the most.  You're a good friend."

Yet, even though we tried to raise them differently, I'm not sure we did.   It's thinly veiled, at best.  It's clearly human nature to label things.  I see it in "the Littles" all the time.

"Girl".
"Boy"
"Bad."
"Happy."
"Hungry."
"Hurt."
"Mad."
"Pretty."
"Cute."
"Yucky."

They don't get all this from me (though I can imagine the fingers pointing!)  It is in them.  We have religiously avoided the label "bad" with all "our" kids -- and yet it is one of the first words each of these "Littles" have said.  A child who makes a "poor choice" is frequently chastised by one of the other two as "bad, bad."  No amount of ignoring or protesting on our part has changed this.  And even though they've not heard the word from us in 8 months, they still know it and use it!

I don't think this revelation will necessarily change my parenting style --but a dose of reality sweetly administered by a wiser-than-her-years 14 year old is certainly useful.  Food for thought.