Tinker Turns the Page on Another Year

 I turned around twice and this baby is 15 years old! It seems like a heartbeat. Have I even slept? Being a middle child myself, I appreciate that middle children are firecrackers. It's what keeps life interesting! And life with Tinker is definitely always fun and interesting.  (When your birthday is on the last week of school and your mom's a teacher, the news takes a minute to post!)

We just finished another season of softball and she was fortunate again to be drafted onto a team with another great coach who was super patient and taught her a lot. She is in JROTC and it's her favorite thing about high school. She has always  loved school but this is her absolute best thing ever. It's exercise, it's competition, you don't have to be quiet or sit much, there aren't too many girls; it's made for her! 

Don't let your brother cut your hair

Tink's big goal right now is to earn the right to take Driver's Ed next summer. We set up a program so that she can objectively earn it and I promise you, like everything she sets her mind to, she will get there. I'll do a post on what we came up with, program-wise, in a few days.

The girl is learning to cook. It's a miracle. So far, she's made shells and homemade marinara sauce and then, last night, Mediterranean Couscous Bowls. She's doing great!

Scroll down for a couple more snaps of our girl through the years. 

Pasta shells w/ Marinara

 

Mediterranean Couscous Bowls

 

The BIG, Bad THING - Suicide

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Some of my earliest memories center around a family tragedy that was only whispered about in my family for years. We had a tacit agreement to keep it under wraps, like most "unpleasantries" in families. Now, 60 years later, I hope we know better.

My grandfather killed himself when I was 4 years old. He made an attempt when we were visiting, one which I thwarted. He succeeded as soon as we left town. Two days later we were back for the burial.

We know now that depression can have a strong genetic tie, and that suicide, in particular, has a tendency to be contagious, especially when not spoken about. And it can seem very hard to talk about. 

We blame ourselves. We blame each other. We think if we talk about it, it might make someone uncomfortable or it give them ideas. This is NOT TRUE. They already have the idea. In order to stem the tide of suicide, we have to talk about it. 

Depression is the leading cause of suicide. It is is the 2nd leading cause of death in teens. 4 times as many males take their lives as females. In my family, as far as I know, 5 people died by suicide, 4 were male. There is suicide risk in both sides of my gene pool. A history of trauma and/or PTSD increases the risk of suicide exponentially.

I am writing this  after one of my kids recently tried to take their life for the third time. My greatest fear is that the next time, they'll succeed. This time, it was really close.

How do you know if someone is considering suicide? Here are some warning signs: (source)

• The recent suicide, or death by other means, of a friend or relative.
• Preoccupation with themes of death or expressing suicidal thoughts.
• Depression, conduct disorder and problems with adjustment such as substance abuse, particularly when two or more of these are present.
• Giving away prized possessions
• Major changes in sleep patterns - too much or too little.
• Withdrawal from friends/ family or other major behavioral changes.
• Dropping out of group activities.
• Lack of interest in the future.

This year at school, we had a very good training on suicide. It was about plain speaking. If you think someone is considering suicide, you MUST ASK THEM. 

• Are you considering suicide?
• Do you have a plan?
• Do you have a time frame?
• Have you talked to someone?
• Can we call 988 (the Suicide Lifeline) together? 

Importantly, DON'T leave the person alone. 

Thanks for reading. Please share. We don't talk about this enough.